Armenian traditional family

“The power of the people is in the family…”

Excerpt from the novel “Gevorg Marzpetuni”

Before we start talking about the traditional Armenian patriarchal family, let us find out how the Armenian traditional family was. Hayk Nahapet was the ancestor of the Armenians. He is a collective image of the patriarch of the Armenian family. He was surrounded by his sons, daughters and sons of his sons. Hayk had a special love for his ancestors and preserved the values transmitted by them. His lineage continued on a one-man-one-woman basis, and the intergenerational bond was very strong.

In a patriarchal family next generations followed the laws established by their ancestors, who in turn had to pass them on to their descendants.

The traditional patriarchal family consisted of about 4-5 generations. It included several generations of sons of the same father with their wives, living under the same roof.

Family patriarch

The head of the family or the patriarch was the eldest man in the family. He controlled not only the property of the family, but also the fate of family members. The patriarch had unlimited rights.

All family members were responsible to the patriarch for their actions; however, the patriarch was not responsible to anyone. To solve family problems, the patriarch consulted with other elderly men. During meals, the patriarch always sat at the head of the table; no one had the right to sit at the table without the patriarch.

When there were disagreements in the patriarchal family, the patriarch would gather the men of the family and come to conclusion, that if someone wants to leave, they must leave. However, those who separated did not go far and often settled in the same village.

When the patriarch died, his duties and rights were transferred to the eldest son, who became the new patriarch of the family.

Division of roles in the Armenian traditional family

In the patriarchal family, the work was divided by gender and age. During this time, the wife of the patriarch kept the accumulated money and property of the house. She also held the keys to the cellar of the house.

Every man in the family had the job entrusted to him. Agriculture and livestock farming were the responsibilities of men of the house. And the duties of women included housekeeping, processing, sorting and storage of agricultural raw materials.

The patriarch’s wife divided the housework between her daughters-in-law. Elder daughters-in-law baked bread and prepared food. However, everyone had to know how to spin and sew. The children also had their own responsibilities that prepared them for later life.

Eating food in a patriarchal family was a whole ritual. First, the men sat at the table, and then women and children.

Woman in the patriarchal family

The second person in the family after the patriarch was his wife, who helped him and supported his authority. The most important duty of a wife was to keep the fire of the house burning. The death of a wife was often compared to an extinguished fire in the hearth.

According to Khrimian Hayrik, the comfort of the house depended on the woman, and often the concepts of home and wife were identified.

The main role of the wife was motherhood and raising children. The pregnant woman and mother have always been objects of worship. It was the duty of the patriarch’s wife to teach the daughters-in-law and grandchildren the traditions and history of their family, as well as the national culture, rituals and traditions. In this way, the wife in the family also taught her family members ethnic identity. Although the power of the patriarch’s wife extended mainly to women and children, all family members respected her. She was the patriarch’s adviser and the guardian of peace in the house.

In ancient times, Armenian queens and princesses had the right to give orders, take or release prisoners, organize feasts and attend royal meetings without the knowledge of their husbands.

Marriages between families

Family members decided marriages between young people, and very often marriage was nothing more than an agreement between families. Two families would decide to marry their children for several reasons: it was convenient, someone was rich, and someone had a good dowry. Very often young people met only on their wedding day. The mother of the son and the eldest women of the family went to meet the girl and her family. If the girl’s parents agreed to the marriage, they allowed their daughter to be examined. They usually checked if the girl knew how to thread a needle. In this way, they checked the girl’s eyesight. And to test the hearing, they asked something in a very low voice.

If they liked the girl, the mother of the son would kiss the girl’s cheek and put a gold coin in her palm. If they did not like her, they left the house without trying any treats.

It was also common to engage children since they were born. The parents of the boy would leave a mark on the cradle of the newborn girl. This was a sign that in the future the girl would marry their son. Such engagements took place in order to establish friendly relations between families.

However, marriages between villagers and city dwellers were not encouraged. A girl from a village could only marry in the city if she was very beautiful or rich.

Family tree

For next generations, the family tree served as an evidence of the history of their family. Only the male members of the family were mentioned in the family tree. Because the male children continued the branches of the family tree. Girls were considered representatives of another house.

It was the man’s purpose and responsibility to add new branches to his family tree. According to the people of Sassoun, the son was a thorn in the eyes of enemies, and the daughter was considered the fruit of the outside tree.

These types of patriarchal families survived until the 1930s. Some remnants of such families survived in Armenian villages, but the development of the economy, the emergence of a monetary unit, emigration led to the disappearance of patriarchal families.

However, some traditions of patriarchal families are still preserved in Armenian families.

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